Relationship Musings: You & Your Kiddos ~ Let Them Lead

I understand this caption, 'Let them Lead,’ may leave some parents uncomfortable. There are many different parenting styles, we all find a way as parents that works best for our given family. Some of us adopt parenting strategies similar to our own growing up experiences, and some of us develop an entirely different way of raising kids, or maybe we land somewhere in the middle of those two poles. This post isn't about a position towards a child centered home; when I say "let them lead," I am really talking about listening to and seeking to understand our kids.

It's easy to forget, especially in the midst of the stress, and hustle, and hurry of day to day to life, that our children have their own thoughts, feelings, and even more importantly, their own inner wisdom about their life. When we let our children lead, we are slowing down enough to hear why they did what they did, why they said what they said, why they have the emotional responses they have ~ letting them lead means we are saying to them, I hear you, you are important, you matter. We are implicitly saying - your voice, my sweet child, is just as important as mine, and I want you to feel known and understood.

The hardest part of this is listening when they are mad at us, right? If you find yourself jumping to defensiveness when your child/teen/young adult is mad at you, maybe this is a moment for compassionate reflection about yourself. Why did I get so triggered? Why do I feel so angry when my child is angry with me?

These are good questions that can inspire even a better relationship with your child.

Letting them lead isn't about not setting boundaries, or being firm when we need to. Children need boundaries to feel safe and protected. This type of "leading" is about trusting that they have their own wisdom, their own unique take on life. We are here to guide, support, nurture, and develop their wings. I heard it said recently that parenting isn't about preparing the road for your children, but rather, preparing your children for the road. I like that. This is good prep for the road ahead.