Giving Your Feelings Space

We live in cultures and families that try hard, and are often successful, in giving us the message to not feel.

We go around gliding over emotions, we bypass important territory on the inside for a multitude of reasons; however, this usually leads us right back to where we started from-in a confrontation with the reality in our hearts. This is the irony of statements like

- "Move past it!" or "Stay positive!" This posture of avoidance is simultaneously a way of staying stuck.

One reason we so easily march right past feelings is that they can be down right scary. If we haven't had our internal lives witnessed and lovingly held from early on, if we didn't receive attunement from caregivers who were able to stay with what we were feeling, shame around our experiences fester, and it then becomes very difficult later in life to bring emotions into the light, and as a result, our relationships can feel like standing on the frontline with no armor.

It takes bravery to feel your sadness— that deep, inflamed ache in your heart; strength to contend with your loneliness; courage to hold the hand of your anger; and boldness to stare face to face with terror.

The lie that is so tempting to believe is that these difficult feelings will only worsen if we give them space.

Oh, Dear One, that is so not true. When we tenderly allow our hearts the permission to feel what it needs to feel, especially in the presence of a safe other-those feelings get metabolized and we are lead into integration.

Our souls are nourished. It's as if our hearts cry out-"finally!" There's a much needed release on the inside, a new found freedom that ushers us closer to the arms of wholeness, clarity, and peace. Remember, the counterintuitive piece is that when we actually face what's on the inside, then we are stronger, more alive.

Trust your heart a little. You can only heal what you feel.